So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
