Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
