is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
