eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
