3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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