now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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