I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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