New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
