i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
