just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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