its not stalking. its research.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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