there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
