I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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