There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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