Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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