so explain again why im purple
no
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
BRING THE BAGELS
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
