At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
