He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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