and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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