Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
