What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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