i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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