the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
