I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
