I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
