dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
