period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
