Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You are the jesus of drinking
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
