Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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