BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
