Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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