Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
