part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize