Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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