when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't think brook has ever known best
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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