Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
