can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
