Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize