My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
