So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
