My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's a Shit stain on my heart
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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