real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
