Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
