Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
