he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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