Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
