Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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