Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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