giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
