So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
