well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
