Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
