After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
