My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
MIDGETS
????
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
