just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
