we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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