she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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