I will die if light touches me.
I puked a lego.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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