I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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