Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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