problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
This house was built for laser tag.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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