piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
