Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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