tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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