hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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