what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
