3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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